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When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies: Discussion

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(no subject) [Nov. 3rd, 2006|03:05 pm]
When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies: Discussion

I went to the library during lunch today, to partake of the early voting system. After being all sorts of proactive in my government, I wandered through the stacks. Picked up two movies for my daughter, a cd, and...

...two nutrition books. Not really diet books, but close. This one and this one.

...What am I hoping to accomplish here?
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(no subject) [Oct. 6th, 2006|12:15 pm]
When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies: Discussion


I had a bad body thought today, for the first (noticeable) time in two weeks.
I woke up at a normal time, had a big delicious breakfast, worked for an hour, changed my clothes and was heading to yoga class for the first time in over a week. I parked just up the street, and was walking to the yoga studio when I caught a glimpse of myself in a window. "Yuck" I thought, concentrating my view on my midsection. I didn't have time at that very moment to sit down and go through the steps, but I plan on doing just that.

I have apologized to myself, because I know I would NEVER say that to anyone else, and it was a mean thing to say to my body. If my body could speak, I know it would be hurt and saddened by my abusive tone.

I now question the validity...
Who says a smaller stomach is better than a bigger one?
Who says a more uniformly round stomach is better than one that pooches at the bottom? and finally...
Who says that my body shouldn't do yoga because it looks different than my classmates? I may have a larger body than them, but I can do yoga just as well, and I deserve the benefits of it just as much as each of them do.

So, when I had the bad body thought, was I feeling guilty that I hadn't gone to yoga in quite a while?
Was I feeling nervous about what the other students think of me?
Was I stressed about being in the home-run at work in two ways (the family I babysit is moving soon, the mobile reno is almost finished)?
With that mobile renovation almost finished, a big accomplishement, was I worried that my ego was going to get "big" and "gross", as I described my stomach?
It could be any of the above, which are all real possible concerns in my life right now. Maybe it's the last option.

Now, I set it aside, and continue on.
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Chapter 1 & 2 - Bad Body Fever, Resisting the Cure [Oct. 3rd, 2006|06:44 pm]
When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies: Discussion

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These are just some personal notes on the first couple chapters. Add anything from chapters one and two that you found particularly noteworthy!

Previous definitions of words that "fat" originated from: fertile, copious, to gush forth, rubust, well filled-out, of sizeable proportions, thick, unusually large substantial and impressive, productive, fruitful. These are all positive things. It wasn't until recently that "fat" became a bad thing.

More fleshy and curvy = more womanly, while more slender = more manly. Many women subconsciously desire to look more manly to fit in a man-oriented world. Some women also desire to take up less space because they feel unworthy of being out there, achieving things, and being noticed.

-giving up false hope, giving up the disguise, giving up misdirected anger, giving up mother-bashing, giving up fat-talk sisterhood.

"getting beyond body-hatred requires that you live in the present rather than the future. You have to continually remind yourself that your body, as it exists right now is just fine. The excitement of making plans to magically reconfigure yourself -- your future -- is gone."

"settle into our bodies rather than renovate them feels more like a death sentence than merely a loss of hope".

In reading the latter half of the second chapter, I came to a HUGE realization of where all my mouth hunger is coming from! I have thought a lot about this, and couldn't put my finger on why it was happening until now. I have successfully been able to banish all (or nearly all) bad body thoughts. Therefore, bad body thoughts no longer disguise my emotions. Because my inner caretaker and I are not ready to deal with those emotions yet, I am leaning on food. It makes perfect sense, and it means that not all is lost. I am still going to re-read the first part of this book, though, because it's always good as a refresher course. Plus, I know several of you have just started it and it would be nice to be near the same place in the book.

Some questions, food for thought... feel free to answer in comments or expand in your own post.

-What WOULD happen if women stopped hating their bodies?
-What if nobody could gain or lose another pound, and all bodies were considered equally beautiful?
-What have you put on hold "until I lose weight"?

For those of you who have done it already... what was it like to get rid of your "thin" clothes?
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(no subject) [Oct. 3rd, 2006|08:51 am]
When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies: Discussion

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[mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]

So... last night was the first night my daughter stayed with us in the new place. She's newly 4, and I still have this tendency to want the house to be quiet right after she falls asleep. W, my fiance, had an anxiety attack. I tried to talk him into sanity as best I could, having plenty of experience with them myself.

Then I very quietly, very solemnly, sat in a corner of the kitchen and ate a piece of sourdough bread with a chunk of Jarlsberg.

....I kept sitting on the floor when I finished, staring into the kitchen. What was I doing? What was I hiding from? ... I think I was scared. W and I broke up last year after not being able to communicate well. It is what drove me to anorexia - I felt if he didn't love me, I wanted to gouge that emptiness as wide as I could with my own hands so that the pain wouldn't be from him. If I didn't deserve to marry him, I didn't deserve any love or comfort - even from myself.

His anxiety threatened my sense of security. He wanted to rehash the break-up. I didn't. I know that anxiety will cling to something to drive you down hard into your spiral; I've learned to not entertain mine, and didn't want to give him fodder for his.

The evening ended well enough. We talked. I told him how I felt. But all of that was after the kitchen floor.

...A couple of things stand out. One is that I didn't eat that much. Another is that I gave myself the time and space to sort out why it was happening. Also... I got up and dealt with the difficult thing.

kashlamar's post yesterday made me realize why I can't stand my thighs touching. I am afraid of true intimacy, and have been. I have the typical absent father childhood for setting that up, my mother and sister's conditional love supporting it all these years. When my thighs touch, I am forced to acknowledge - and be intimate with - myself.

... I'm glad we're all here, discussing this. Very glad.
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(no subject) [Sep. 26th, 2006|07:55 pm]
When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies: Discussion


Welcome to the group :) I've had several lj-friends talk to me about this life-changing book, and decided it was about time that a community was made for it so we could keep all our thoughts in one place. I think this community will be a useful tool for all of us who are reading this book and trying to change our lives for the better. Whether you're on a roll or struggling, we want to hear about it. Get posting :)
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